


worth everything

by silverballs



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Blood and Gore, M/M, Making Out, Mild Sexual Content, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 12:46:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13975452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverballs/pseuds/silverballs
Summary: It doesn’t take long to realize that Kaneki’s not going to survive at this rate. That even if he would eventually heal, it wouldn’t be fast enough. There’s no way for him to survive without fighting and he wouldn’t win any fight hurt as badly as he is.Hide knows what he has to do.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Kaneki's first kiss





	worth everything

With the mask gone Hide finally sees Kaneki’s face. The person in front of him doesn’t look like _his_ Kaneki anymore. Hide doesn’t know why that surprises him, he’d been expecting it, but it does. His hair's white, his face is pale and pained and Hide can’t help think that he looks like the color was drained out of him.

And that fucking hurts. Kaneki was supposed to be fine, Hide was supposed to keep him safe, because he was the only thing he had left and because he loved him.

He _loved_ him.

He loved him and nobody else but him and he’d managed to screw it up. Couldn’t keep the one thing that he was supposed to protect safe. Because of him, Kaneki was suffering.

Kaneki’s eyes are screwed shut and he’s mumbling to himself, telling himself that Hide wasn’t real, that he was hallucinating. Hide tries to not think too much about it, instead focusing on Kaneki’s more physical wounds. It doesn’t take long to realize that Kaneki’s not going to survive at this rate. That even if he would eventually heal, it wouldn’t be fast enough. There’s no way for him to escape without fighting and he wouldn’t win any fight hurt as badly as he is.

Hide knows what he has to do.

_This really fucking sucks_ he contemplates before he pushes Kaneki against the wall and pushes himself between his knees. He puts his arm to his mouth. _I can live without an arm_ , he thinks, rather hysterically.

“Eat Kaneki”.

Kaneki pushes his arm away and looks Hide in the eye for the first time in what feels like forever. His eyes are wide with shock and he looks as though Hide had hit him. Hide’s heart hurts.

“No. Never, no. Please go. Go away, get away from me, please”. Kaneki pleads, his voice hoarse with desperation. But Hide can’t. He’s more desperate than Kaneki is. He’d sooner die than to fail him again. Kaneki has to live.

Hide bites his tongue until he tastes copper and he feels the blood run down his chin. Kaneki won’t be able to resist the smell of his blood because, in the end, he’s still a starving, injured ghoul and Hide’s fresh meat.

“I bet this isn’t how you were expecting your first kiss to go, huh?” Hide says before he leans down, pressing his lips against Kaneki’s.

The kiss is wet and warm. It’s wet with blood and spit and Kaneki sits completely still as Hide pushes his tongue inside, well aware that he was probably going to lose it. He closes his eyes. Kaneki starts to move and Hide tenses, bracing for the pain and tries not to think about if he would survive. Tries not to think about what his face is going to look like if he does.

But to his surprise, Kaneki doesn’t bite his tongue off, but presses against it with his own, rather tentatively, before sucking on it. Kaneki pulls his arms around Hide’s waist, pulling him closer, then pushes his way into Hide’s mouth.

Hide hears himself moan when Kaneki catches his bottom lip between his teeth and bites down hard enough for skin to break. He tries to ignore the heat spreading downward because it really wasn’t the appropriate time to get a hard-on.

He feels himself melting into the kiss despite it all and he thinks. He thinks about a dark haired boy with a sad smile, he thinks about a thousand late nights studying, and he thinks about well-worn books. He thinks about how much he loves him. How he would do anything and everything for him and about how he just wants him to be happy.

He doesn't mind dying like this.

The noise of something falling down makes him flinch and realization fills him. There was no time to waste, not like this. He pushes himself flush against Kaneki and bites down on his own tongue again, filling both their mouths with wet heat. He can feel Kaneki tense up and Hide knows that Kaneki’s self-control wouldn’t last.

The relief that fills him is drowned out by the pain when Kaneki begins to eat him alive. Kaneki cries. Hide hopes that he won’t remember this.

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I'm kinda tempted to write it from kaneki's perspective but eh. maybe later. Hope you guys like it


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